


Love is Not a Victory March

by somethin_random (wordsaremyfaith)



Category: The OC
Genre: Angst, F/M, Ficlet, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-06
Updated: 2004-12-06
Packaged: 2018-04-16 05:33:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4613103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsaremyfaith/pseuds/somethin_random
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seth and Marissa both know Ryan's not actually into them. (Pre-slash, sort of.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is Not a Victory March

**Author's Note:**

> Post-episode 1x08 (The Heights). I realize Seth's disinterest in Summer in this is very OOC at this time in the show.

_Baby I've been here before_  
_I've seen this room and I've walked this floor_  
_You know, I used to live alone before I knew you._  
_And I saw your flag on the marble arch_  
_And love is not a victory march_  
_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah…_  
-Leonard Cohen, Hallelujah

Seth shouldn't be so upset when Ryan and Marissa finally get together, officially. He's known this was coming for a long time and he's resigned to it. But he can't stop himself from being jealous anyway, because Ryan's _his_ , damn it, and Marissa can't have him.

Except that she does, in a way Seth probably never will. And that kills him.

Seth has been compared to Marissa Cooper all his life, and never in a favorable way. They're similar, except that she's more desirable, somehow. And also a girl. Which Seth can do nothing about, as much as he wishes he could.

He knows he's crazy to think of it as a choice between the two of them. Ryan has no idea of Seth's feelings, and didn't choose Marissa over Seth. But it doesn't matter. He still chose her. And Seth is still sitting alone on his bed, thinking of all the things he should have said or done, going back to the night he'd helped Ryan run away to the model home. They should never have let Marissa come. That was the beginning of the end.

Kissing Anna at the carnival had been nice, but kissing Ryan would have been nicer. Seth doesn't even care about Summer anymore. All he can think about is Ryan and Marissa stuck on the top of the Ferris wheel for a good five minutes.

Captain Oats can't help this time; this is too big and Seth doesn't know what to do. Nothing will help. Marissa's won; Seth concedes. Not that he was ever in the running to begin with, in Ryan's eyes, anyway.

Sighing, he leans back against the headboard of his bed and closes his eyes.

***

Marissa cries alone in her room. Ryan says he wants to be with her, but if that's true, why do his eyes constantly seek out Seth every time they're together? When they kissed on the Ferris wheel, her eyes popped open as it started moving again to see Ryan gazing at the ground below, seeking someone out. Marissa doesn't have to be a genius to know he was looking for Seth.

Even when he's with her, he's never really with her. His mind is always somewhere else, with someone else. Someone who doesn't even know how lucky he is.

She cries herself to sleep.


End file.
